Know and Remember

As some of you already know, yesterday I went to the hospital for some minor surgery. Nothing bad, really, and it went very well. I'm sore today and resting, mostly, but what I want to write about is the night before my surgery.

Like most people, I tossed and turned a lot. All I could think about was having to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. and what I had to be there for. I'm certainly no pain pansy -- I've had three C-sections and my lower jaw realigned to correct TMJ -- but no one wants to go somewhere and then say, "Okay, I'm here. Go ahead, hurt me." Well, maybe a professional UFC MMA fighter does, but NOT me.  Yes, I was apprehensive ... I don't know how many times I looked at the alarm clock and told myself, "Hey, GO TO SLEEP, Dummy!"   The alarm was set for 4:30 and it was already 1:32.

Then suddenly I saw the familiar light blue fog behind my closed eyelids. As it usually is, it was calming and peaceful and I watched it slowly fill my field of vision completely. The way it gently swirls, I always have a sense of floating. And then I heard Dinahh speaking to me from inside the fog, "Catherine, come with me. I have something to show you."

Like so many other times, he appeared to me as a small orb of bright light. I happily went along with him. We ascended at a 45 degree angle, fast and yet gliding, through millions of other brilliant orbs of light. They were moving fast every which way and I had the oddest sense of knowing them -- all of them -- and they knew me, as well. I felt so free and peaceful, and I was floating -- no, not quite floating, but not flying either -- as we were flitting/floating/soaring higher and higher. This is frustrating. As I've told you before, I don't even own the words to describe most of my experiences with Dinahh, so please bear with me.

The next thing I was aware of was, we were way out in space somewhere and I could see the whole galaxy at the same time. It was awesome, totally awesome. The colors were beautiful, so vivid, and I could see the planets, the stars, the moon -- it was ... truly awesome. But what was truly amazing was how I felt. I felt a crackling, like I was charged with electricity, and I didn't need to breathe because I was the air, itself. I know that doesn't make any sense, but that's how it was. And there is always such a feeling of love and acceptance. It doesn't just touch you, you are one with it and it flows into and through you. When I'm up there, I know beyond all doubt that we are all a part of something so huge, so vast and so full of love that it really IS indescribable.

"Tell them about it, Catherine, Zora. Tell them how it is so they will know. Tell them to remember. Tell them to listen to the whispers.  Tell them to hear us with their hearts."

I went to sleep soon after my experience, but not before I peeked at the clock one last time.  This was strange and mystical -- it was still only 1:32.  Thank you, Dinahh ...
Namaste.
Zora

Awe and Wonder: Life

I don't always write every day, and I know I should -- and when I do write, I have a tendency to talk mostly about experiences I've had or lessons I've learned. I don't share enough about what I feel inside: a tremendous sense of awe and wonder about the incredible journey I'm on -- and with everything in me, I want you to feel the awe and wonder, too.

Life is so sweet, so awesome! We're surrounded by its magic every day, if we'll only sense it and allow it in. We're constantly whispered to, protected by, and helped along by our guidance. There's an incredible energy flowing through you -- sense it, welcome it in -- you can almost feel how powerful you truly are, and how far you can reach.

It's easy to lose sight of these truths, particularly living in a world that wants to insist that we're limited, aging creatures, stuck somewhere between luck and fate. But people, that just isn't so! We do have the power to change things. As long as we remember that our problems don't own us, and as soon as we realize that, the problems lose their control over us and we can move forward again.

At times, I know, life can seem hard. But we make it seem even harder than it actually is by believing everything that we've been taught, by our limited thinking, by having low expectations, and by failing to see ourselves as we really are: infinite beings of light and love, adventurers of life, navigating our way through the paths we've chosen, and just being human -- loving, living, and sharing, with eternity stretched out before us and the power of our thoughts to shape who we are and who we want to become, if we'll only listen to the whispers, our guidance, and believe in the magic around us.

Life really is like a watermelon -- just grab it and take a bite -- savor the awe and wonder!  Taste its sweetness!
Namaste.

Love and Intimacy

Today's Thoughts

The universe seems to have such ornery plans for us. It triflles with our hearts and our souls, never being specific, allowing us to choose our own path, letting us feel every decision we make is the right one, when all there really is, is love. There is no death, only infinity before and after, which is an amazing concept to try and grasp with our minds ... for only our hearts can "see".

What opens hearts to intimacy is sharing vulnerabilities. It's not as hard as you'd think -- if you really love someone. We've all seen the rare couple who has done this over a lifetime and in the process, they've grown old together. Just being near them, we sense an enormous comfort and peace, and the shared love between them radiates. It's beautiful, and very rare. Without this quality of openness and vulnerability, partners never really know each other; they are merely one being living with another being.

When love is accompanied with deep intimacy, it raises us to the highest level of human experience. It is in this space, that we can surrender our egos, become vulnerable and know levels of joy and love unique among all of life's experiences. Boundaries are blurred, with no limitations and we become one and, at the same time, both.

I love this journey I'm on. Just thought I'd share my thoughts today. Let me hear yours ...
Namaste!
CJ

Dinahh and Robert

I know a lot of you are wondering what's new as far as Dinahh is concerned. As a guide, he's still with me, but not from a teaching standpoint right now.

About six weeks ago, Dinahh talked to me about Robert, who nearly twenty years ago, wrote three complete books, but never did anything to try and get them published. Dinahh told me that back then was not the time for them -- people were not ready for the messages they contained. He went on to say that people are ready for them now and that I was to do all I could to help Robert, editing and correcting, even fleshing them out more, and then getting them in the mail to publishers.

I told Dinahh that they were Robert's books -- who the heck was I to "flesh out" someone else's work? He told me that was only a part of our joint purpose here. Dinahh shared with me that Robert and I are of one mind and one heart. We are to work and write together, along with the universe. It's what Robert and I agreed to before coming here. When doing this work, I was to listen to Dinahh's whispers and insights as I did this. So that's what I've been doing for nearly six weeks now.

There's a lot of work that goes into preparing a manuscript! Everything has to be edited and re-edited, spell-checked, double spaced, title pages added, one with name and address and one without, a table of contents, biography, introduction, word count, cover letter, SASE (self-addressed stamped envelope) WHEW ... and there are three books we have to do it with.

I'm happy to report that Dinahh was true to his word. Every step of the way, I could hear his whispers. At times, I had to say out loud, "Slow down, please, Dinahh, you're going too fast." I'm happy to say, the first manuscript was put in the mail to ten well-chosen publishers of New Age books about a week ago.

As of this date, Robert has received a couple of polite, "It's good, but it's not what we're looking for at the present time." Just today, he received a very nice personal letter/thanks but no thanks from a publisher who said he really liked the book! I wish I could say he was going to get a contract from him, but it wasn't what he needed either. But we did send a follow up letter mentioning that maybe one (or both!) of the other manuscripts might be a better fit for what he IS looking for ...

Oh, and Dinahh has also been pushing me to get my own fiction "out there". I have fifteen short stories for a short story collection -- It's almost ready to send out, too. We'll keep you posted ...

Namaste!

Whisper to a Vet

As most of you know, I have another blog which is dedicated to Vietnam Vets. I began Memoirs From Nam in the memory of my first husband, who was a combat medic and killed in action in 1969. What I hoped to accomplish is happening. Veterans are opening up and sharing their experiences.

Robert and I are learning through the many postings on the blog that there is so much buried pain. The biggest portion comes from what these men and women experienced in war, but there's also a great amount of guilt these vets feel. That also causes pain. The guilt stems from losing their friends in battle -- they ask, why them, and not me? What more could I have done?

Still more, the Vietnam Era was unlike any other time in history. Our citizens, our very country, didn't treat these veterans as they deserved to be treated when they returned. That's a lot of pain to be carrying around for such a long time.

Robert had a whisper from his guidance and he left it as a comment on one of the latest postings at Memoirs. It's good and I want to share it here.

Whisper to a Vet:
by Robert Cosmar

In your pain is a great gift of awareness that can lead you past all the pain, the personal judgement, and the criticism that the ego uses to keep us trapped in time, memories and illusions.

It can seem, at times, like we are losing our sanity when the mind realizes it's losing its grip and we're becoming more aware of ourselves. Guilt can be a powerful tool of the ego and mind. It can imprison us in the past and within time.

The goal of life is awareness and the soul uses whatever is needed to bring us back home to our real selves. There is no guilt or blame in the deep core of your nature -- of you or others who have served. Only in the mind, which is programed by religion, cultural values, and philosophies is there a form of self torture that splits you all in two and beats you up.

Beyond the mind is acceptance of yourself and all that you experienced and the one thing you are all seeking: NO BLAME. The pain does not own you. Surrender to who you are and all that you experienced. Realize that this is perfect for the growth and healing your soul is seeking.

Namaste.

Dis-ease

As everyone already knows, our body has a basic and unique ability to heal itself -- call it our inner healer. It comes programmed that way and when everything is in alignment, the body can do its thing properly. When things are out of alignment, we experience dis-ease, or an absence of ease and total health.

Hidden deep inside our body is the most powerful "mainframe computer" in the universe. It stores a lifetime's worth of experiences and is networked to trillions of smaller "computers," coordinating their operations -- telling them what to do and when to do it, so the whole system functions properly. All these "computers" are connected with many billions of special "wires".

As you've probably guessed, the "mainframe" is your brain, the smaller computers are your cells, tissues, organs, and systems, and the "wires" are your nerve fibers. The protective casing is your skull.

I'm not anti-doctors -- when we have a serious problem or disorder, prescriptions or even surgery may be necessary to correct it. But, truthfully, if you want the most natural way to keep your body operating at its best, you might want to consider a chiropractor. Chiropractic helps unleash your natural healing ability, your inner healer. The body is always trying to realign the spine and return to a state of ease, or relaxation.

A chiropractor doesn't actually put the vertebra back in place, they supply just the little bit of force needed to free the vertebra so the body can realign itself. It's like when your car gets stuck in the mud and the wheels spin and spin. Then a friend comes along and pushes the car and the wheels finally catch and the car is free. Your friend didn't really push your two-ton car out of the mud, he just supplied the right amount of force in the right direction so the car could dislodge itself.

I've been plagued by sciatica for years in my hips -- and I'm happy to say, I've been helped by chiropractic care. We occasionally get our teeth checked, our eyes checked, our hearing checked -- why not our spine? Plain and simply, when the spine is out of alignment, the nerves get pinched and the body feels dis-ease. Actually, it's fun, safe, gentle and your whole nervous system feels better.

It's the natural way to heal ...

Namaste!

Message of Awareness

The following is an exchange between Robert and our friend, John Bidwell. The message is so clear, the awareness so share-able. We all touch each others' lives in so many ways ...

Hi Robert,
Your posts all mean so much to me. The thing about awareness is, when presented in front of me, it seems so self-evident, so obvious. I am baffled at my previous ignorance and any continued ignorance, but the ignorant are simply filled with needs which I don't have. I let them go.  I have not even a desire now for "beliefs" or "answers." Such things are red flags.  I have not even motivation to think that "awareness" relates to "good." Things are as they must be. If they look good or bad to me, I need not define them. I can't. When much looks to be very bad, I am not moved. And when much looks very grand, I do not rejoice. It is all as I perceive, not as I know.

The loss of my father opened me more. I started out as an Evangical Christian, Mom a church organist, Dad stayed home. But ours was the church with Bishop John Shelby Spong present. Dad lived to see me grow spiritually and he and I would attend Spong lectures together. If I think, "Who loved me in this life?" It is Dad. It was his responsibility, yet he fulfilled it as a destiny, and with much pleasure. I marvel at such love. And what a pianist! Yet I watched his golden years, the incomprehensible loss of Mom, my divorce, illness and constant pain, 5 years in a nursing home, and his amazing pianist hands as they became useless knots of bone at the end of his arms. It was not a reward. Yet even when I could not visit him as I would have wished, he never shamed me, only assured me. See, always he knew me, better than I knew myself.

We can be thankful for what is good and let what is bad pass by as it will. We can collect what is good in our hearts, to cherish on a rainy day.

I'm grateful for your presence on this journey. As I have mentioned to CJ, my partner's relatives own the Country Villa, so I am plotting for a visit out that way, and hope to meet you both.
Best wishes,
John


Thank you, John, for sharing your insights and experiences. It is very touching and human. I shared this with Cathy and we would appreciate your permission to post this on our joint blog, Knowing Whispers as a blog in itself. If there is anything you would like to add, please do so. The energy in your words will touch others and be very healing, I am sure. Please feel free to share your thoughts and heart in the groups here at Facebook as well because you have awareness to share with others there.


Hi Robert.
I would be very honored for you to share what I wrote as a blog -- humbled as well. I'd like to leave it as is. So amazing that with awareness we are "reminded."

You and CJ certainly came in to my life at a perfect time, but there is no other time.
John

Subject Needs Object

Physical existence is not possible without both subject (creator), and object (creation). Duality is the name of the game and it's how they relate that determines the manifestation we call life.

Creation needs a force from which to manifest, an intelligence or living consciousness that projects its will, purpose, plan or objective into existence. Creation cannot be by itself. It needs a source from which to manifest. A creator can exist alone, but then it wouldn't be expressing itself creatively. They both must work together, because they are interdependent upon each other. They are also of the same essence and must be a reflection, reversely, of each other.

Just as a camera inverts its image when taking a picture, creation must be empty of the essential qualities of the creator. In other words, a creator must create in a vacuum. The reason is, that it must provide a stage for creating that is empty of itself somehow, a place called anti-creater -- you cannot put something into a box that is already full. The space has to be empty of mass, but still include elements of the creator or its essence. Energy in some form must be available.

Humanity is both creator and created. At our core, we know who we are and why we are here. All of the answers are known to us, because we are that which exists. As the created, we exist in a vacuum that allows us to be separate from our creation. Our minds allow us to exist in a vacuum called space and time, where we can forget our true selves and begin an endless journey back to it.

Life is a journey outside the reality of who we are. This is why it is impossible to discover ourselves in space and time through our minds; however, it does allow us to explore our creative potential, much like a child in a sandbox. The sandbox is an imaginary playground of home, but when mom calls us for supper, we realize it is time to go inside our real home.

Existence and us depend on a mirror reflection of both conscious and unconscious energy to manifest creation. We would not exist, nor the world and the universe, without it. It provides the stage within us where we can forget ourselves and also remember ourselves, if we choose. It's infinite, spacious, never-ending and easy to forget within it. To be hypnotized by our creations and forget, again like a child, that it isn't reality we're playing with, but a creation of our own imaginations.

To know yourself, you must realize within yourself that you are both creation and creator and, even beyond that, you are an essence of existence. What seems so far away and complex becomes, in reality, very simple and obvious in your awareness. It's the mind, searching through millions of ideas, theories, and observations that becomes lost within itself and searching for something that doesn't exist as an object. Truth is never an object. Truth can be known and felt from within, but never discovered without its nature.

Truth, Love, Existence

by Robert Cosmar

Nothing is more feared than the truth. It peels away all mis-perceptions and lies. It unveils our deceptions, both intended and unintentional. It lays us open and bare-naked, often separating us from others as we contemplate our next choices. We've all had that moment of truth in a relationship where we thought we had something real and yet it manifested as an impostor. Nothing hurts as deeply or digs so painfully into us as when a moment of truth occurs. Discovering illusions can be like a death within us.

We think we know it all; we're sure we've found it all. We feel nothing new can come and surprise us when life feels good -- we're sure it will last forever. Life and love, however, have plans that go far beyond our meager perceptions. Death in its many forms makes it sure that the plan or love continues to flourish in time and space. This is why when we feel love and have love, we have to appreciate it, because we never know when it will be taken away (or go away) -- and it does. Time gives us the opportunity to experience love, but there are no guarantees that it will last, or even exist, beyond our current life.

It's the fear of truth that prevents love from growing, evolving and blossoming. It's the compulsion to hold on too tightly to what we have that strangles love and this can make love die too early. We have to risk to love, and realize that love has terms and conditions. The joy of getting can always turn into the pain of losing. It's only through a living awareness that we understand and accept the plan of life, and we get a faint belief or intuition that it is not over, it is never really over. I will see you again is a stubborn hope that everyone echoes, but in reality, there are no promises from existence that it will be so. Only love and the feeling of what seems right can offer any hope of a guarantee that we're eternally linked together in our dance of existence.

The more aware we become, the more of an individual we are becoming. This realization can be confusing at first as we feel our human need for love dissolving into a deepened love of self and others. We can help each other grow in love and experience love, but in the end, our own personal experience of that love is what matters. The evolution of duality into reality is the outcome of any enlightenment. This doesn't mean that we stop loving or caring -- far from it. It simply means that emotional forms of love are replaced by a deeper more secure knowing of self and others. It allows more freedom and trust to express our self through creating in our partnership with existence. We do move on through death and change, but the core of love in all of us binds us to an eternal brother/sisterhood which never dies or changes. When we are truly, finally, at home within us, only then can we feel, know and recognize we are a cosmic and connected family.

Grand Awakening

If humanity is to evolve and survive, then a grand event, or awakening, has to occur.  It has to be strong enough that excuses from fear and ego/pride have no place to run or capacity to hide through deceptions all too common to us in daily life. It has to be fearful enough to shake us from our sleep so we realize we are responsible for all that we have created.  It's the only hope and the only power that can save the path we've chosen till now. Not until the wealthy, the famous and the royalty realize that greed not only steals from people but from a living universe will it all stop. Not until the poor and the ignorant stop blaming the rich and famous for their conditions in life and take responsibility for themselves will things change and both sides grow closer in wisdom and awareness.

Power isn't real power unless it is wrapped in awareness. Power that grows through manipulation, control and greed isn't lasting. It has a seed of erosion and destruction within it and creates jealousy and anger from those who feel powerless. It takes from others and leaves nothing behind of value for others to appreciate.  Power becomes an enemy to existence and others.  We are no longer seen as a flesh and blood, but a vile worm of existence, eating at the insides of humanity. This isn't the true purpose and intent of power.

Real power reveals the true nature of things and shows a unity of all existence. It teaches us that one power exists beyond the greed of humanity.  Only when we surrender to it and the guidance of our hearts do we have a chance to avoid destruction to ourselves and others. We are given the freedom to choose whether or not we surrender to a greater wisdom, one that created everything, or go our own way and see what happens. It is the hope of the heart of existence that we'll choose the way back home, but the heart of existence will always permit us to leave and return forever.

Robert

Synchronicity 1969

Last weekend, we were watching an older HBO series, "The Pacific", and I was reminded of a huge synchronicity that happened to me many years ago. When it was over and we turned the TV off, I talked about it with Robert. He felt it was significant and something I should share.

Some things are difficult to write about -- they're too close to our hearts to even talk about, sometimes -- so please bear with me, as I try and morph emotion into words ...

I've talked before about my first husband, Doug. We were married in January of 1969 and he left shortly after for Vietnam, in May. Doug was a combat medic with the 199th Infantry Division and, during a horrific firefight, KIA in Vietnam in September of 1969.

In August of 1969, my paternal grandmother suddenly died from a brain aneurysm. We were all saddened, of course, especially since she was only 59 -- young, even by 1969 standards. How tenuous life is. None of us ever knows how long we have.

I debated about how best to tell Doug. He was very close to Gramma Parrish. He had to know, and I was going to have to tell him. He loved cooking, like she did, and they often talked recipes and ingredients as he savored her latest offering -- Gramma was a wonderful cook and he was probably her greatest fan.

As I was tearfully writing about Gramma, it occurred to me again just how precious every minute is with loved ones. I missed him so much. I would have given anything to be holding him and telling him in person about Gramma -- suddenly I wondered, what if something happened to me? Who would be the one to tell Doug? Who would console him? Then I knew. I would. As I sat there, a poem came out of nowhere -- it was an easy write, so unlike others I had written, and I went racing with it's simple emotion and insight.

If Only a Minute
(Written August 1969)

Sweet heart, if I only have a minute
to say goodbye to you,
let me whisper what I’m thinking
when my time on earth is through.

I'll tell you how I’ve loved you
and how happy I have been,
please, don't think of me as leaving,
for I know we’ll meet again.

We'll hold each other close once more
and I'll kiss away your tears.
We'll talk of precious things we’ve shared
through all our loving years.

When my time with you has ended
and He calls for me to come,
Just know, I’ve always loved you.
Please take care of everyone.

When I finished, I folded the poem with the letter, addressed the envelope, licked the stamp and like so many other letters, I kissed it and dropped it into the mailbox to find its way to Doug. Even now, as I look back, I'm amazed that I was so blind to the fact that Doug could be the one who died.  I was so sure he would return, I refused to even think about any other outcome.

Months later, after his funeral, I received a large envelope from the Army. Inside was a small package of unopened letters that had never reached Doug and they'd never been read. Among the letters was the one I had written about Gramma's passing. Oh my God, I thought, he never knew ... and then the poem slipped down to the floor.

As I bent down and picked up the page, I began to read and I sobbed.   The words took on a whole new meaning -- as though Doug had written the words to me, and I felt somehow comforted. I didn't know then that it was called a synchronicity, but I do remember feeling that it came from a higher power, something wonderful, yet mysterious.  This was a gift, a magical message, to me from Doug.

... and I'm glad Gramma was there to Welcome Doug Home.

Namaste.

Trust: Glue That Binds

As of today, Knowing Whispers will be a joint blog.  Robert is joining me as co-writer and host.  We've found that we work, write and play well together -- we welcome any and all questions or comments you may have on awareness and Robert is well-versed in Astrology and does wonderful astrological charts.  Please tell your friends and associates to join us -- everyone is welcome.  Namaste!  ~CJ


Trust: Glue That Binds
by Robert Cosmar

If we don't have trust in ourselves, in life, and in others, then we feel cut off and abandoned. That kind of life is against our needs, hopes and desires. I'm not talking about common trust, but something much deeper.

Basic and fundamental trust in the integrity of our connection in consciousness is imperative to all that IS. This is a knowing, that we are a part of the universal whole. Most of us have limited trust or maybe a trust with conditions, but this kind of trust will not weather a storm of doubt or apparent betrayal. It does not see deeply enough or far enough into the purposes of the magic.

Total, absolute trust or surrender is the way we melt into our deepest nature, the magic or the love. At some point in our lives, we all need to open ourselves, trust and share our common humaness and realize we are all the same. We may look different, sound different or feel different, but human needs, desires, wants and our problems are all universal.

To trust is to risk rejection, but it's also the way to a deeper love of self and others. It is a glue that binds us all and supports our common need for love. The world and your life are seen from a different place when you view them with an open heart.

Channeling

I received an email this morning that I found puzzling. I'm new at this awareness thing and I sure don't have all the answers, so when Ms. X asked me in the email how long I had been "channeling", I drew a complete blank. What's Channeling?

I did a quick Google search to read up on it and basically what I found out is that my Spirit Guide, Dinahh, is what is referred to as my "higher knowledge" so what I do, I guess, is "channeling". Son of a gun ...

In a nutshell, I've learned that channeling is a process of communicating with any consciousness that is not in human form by allowing that consciousness to express itself through an individual -- the channeler. Channeling usually refers to accessing higher knowledge, to support spiritual growth and to gain greater clarity about one's life. It also works in reverse when the higher knowledge contacts the channeler to help with their spiritual growth.

This was my experience, since Dinahh first appeared to me last April in a dream and introduced himself. He looked like a little old man, very short, and in a white robe -- about the size of Yoda from Star Wars. It was frightening to me, having been a grounded individual for most of my life. After about the third visit this way, and after talking with my partner, Robert, about him, I came to understand that this was a positive thing, and I became comfortable around Dinahh. Communication with him has always been telepathic, or clairaudient, and he now appears to me as a glowing orb of light, or at times, as just a voice. (If you care to know more about Dinahh, this was all documented in the beginning of my blog last April).

Anyway, channeling accesses/allows information to and from entities/spirit guides that are more evolved and who enlighten us as we move through the evolution of consciousness and back to source, i.e., the universe.

Everything is vibrational energy. When one channels, they are tapping into the frequency of the universe. It's sort of like tuning in a radio. Each station, (vibrational energy), brings a specific frequency of information, such as visions, whispers, intuitions, precognitions, synchronicities or even other forms, such as astral travel, clairaudience and clairvoyance. These are a few of the experiences I've had with my spirit guide, Dinahh.

In closing, I found it interesting that channeling has always been part of the human connection to a higher vibration of thought, so it isn't new at all. What is new is how positively it is perceived and received now. In my own case, I've had what I've always called "whispers" since I was a child ... my little gift, I guess. Usually they were about things that were going to happen and they always did.

So, now we all know a little more about channeling ...

Namaste!

Synergy of Love

Love and Intimacy
by Robert Cosmar

Love is an investigation into the nature and reality of existence. In a relationship, it is an investigation into the nature and the reality of each partner. Love hides nothing and reveals all blocks to its realization. You cannot hide in love if you want it to grow. It will reveal your deepest fears and insecurities and then love asks you to trust and surrender more. It's important, because you will realize the nature of existence and your place within it.

Love and Intimacy
CJ Heck

Revealing our deepest fears and insecurities to someone we love is universally thought to be relationship suicide. To do so is viewed as a sign of weakness. Nothing could be further from the truth.

If love is real, you know it. There's no guesswork, no wondering, involved. There's a feeling of being "home" in a lover's arms. You feel the vibrational energy between you, as well as the universe, flowing in and out and through you both.

To learn a lover's greatest fears and insecurities brings only new understanding, a need to protect, and a deeper, richer love. Remember, your love is trusting you with the revelation, trusting that your love is great enough to accept them as they are, and at their most vulnerable.

When it's your turn, you learn by the same sharing what real love, trust and acceptance really mean -- and through the experience, you'll know yourself for who you truly are. It's humbling, emotional, rewarding and it brings a new awareness of your own, and your partner's, true nature and purpose.

Namaste

Related articles

• Eva M. Selhub, M.D.: Is It Possible to Trust? (huffingtonpost.com)
• Marcy Cole, L.C.S.W., Ph.D.: The Top 5 Ways To Go From 'Dateable' To 'Mateable' (huffingtonpost.com)

Ego

Me: Dinahh, I need your guidance please.  These questions were posed to me by a friend the other day and I'm not sure how to answer her:

If a relationship is real, and truly based on love, can a man's outside flirtations be harmful to the relationship? Can this irrevocably break down trust?

Dinahh: This behavior, when played out, is an improper feeding of the ego, if he is in a true love relationship. The ego tells him, "She sat there, (or smiled at me, stared at me, winked at me, flirted with me) because she's interested." Understand, the ego wants and can even demand to be fed, and most men have listened to and complied with the ego's wishes for most of their life.

 Like a petulant child, the ego does not like to be denied, and it makes up excuses for flirtation, even if its reasons are only imaginary. The ego searches for ways to feed itself and it's always on the watch for eyes to meet, a smile to be shared, or someone of the opposite sex to flirt with them or sit nearby. The aware being knows this is a game and a knowing, loving heart shuts down the ego's need to control.

Understand, the ego is needy. It needs to feel worthy and desirable. In a true love relationship, the ego is fed through the relationship. In the absence of love, this is not so. Therefore, even if the reason for the flirtation is merely a wishful fantasy of the mind, the ego is fed. Each time the mind remembers, ego is fed yet again. And because the ego wants continually more, it looks ahead to the next time -- anticipation is also ego-fed. Each time the mind recalls the flirtation, the ego is fed. If it is confessed and forgiveness asked for, ego is fed again in the telling, especially if the partner reacts with "good boy for sharing".

For the partner, knowing of the flirtation awakens fear, causing doubt.  Doubt can lead to a breakdown of trust. When a partner is confronted out of fear, his ego is fed again because of the reaction (jealousy or indignation). As a result of the confrontation, the ego will demand to be fed yet again out of self-righteous indignation because of the hurt and mistrust of what he believes to be a harmless flirtation -- this is what his mind was told by the controlling ego. The final result is that the ego will have been fed a multitude of times because of one flirtation.

As you can see, Catherine, it's a self-perpetuating cycle. The ego is something a man must learn to control alone, by himself, and through the love that is in his heart from the relationship. When he opens his heart and trusts in that love, he will learn to deny the ego its control over mind and heart.

Tell your friend:  In a real love relationship, you can and do still have trust. You trust in the love you feel. You trust in the love he feels for you. You must both trust that neither of you will allow another to come between you, no matter how trivial. In order to recognize your potential and fully realize your true purpose together, there must be only love and honesty between you.

Having said that, I will say, to trust that someone won't deliberately hurt you or take advantage of a loving nature is something that must be earned. The ego will always break down trust if allowed to be in control. Ultimately, only an open and loving heart can deny the ego its control.

There are better uses of ego that do not harm a relationship. When two loving hearts work together and teach through awareness, the ego is fed in a positive way by knowing they are guiding other souls in their journey.

Catherine, in closing, please also tell your friend: You learn, by questioning. Never allow another's ego to control your heart.  That is all.  I will go now.

Namaste.