Making a Better Life

Okay, so you're having one of those days that your mother always warned you about. No, you say, not just one day like that -- you're in a rut!  You're having a whole year full of those days she warned you about. Nothing seems to be going right and even your positives have sunk to the lowest levels of negative, in what seems to be a never-ending slide even lower.

You find yourself thinking, "I need a freaking break! I have no time for me anymore and it's one damn problem after another. Is life really meant to be this hard?"

In times like this, it helps if you will go to the silence and find your center. There, you will find peace and  your connectivity again. Because when you open your heart and shut down the mind, the silence brings within it a connectivity with the universe. There, if you will allow it, is freedom from all thought, anxiety and fear.

Slowly breathe, exhale, breathe, exhale. Focus.  Listen to your breath, concentrate on the sound it makes entering and leaving your body. When you find your center, you'll feel your awareness and the energy from the universe. Nothing in the outside world can take that from you. There, you'll find your inner peace, no matter what problems your life may be throwing at you.

In the silence is your inner stillness. Welcome it and allow it in. Sense it with an open heart. This is where your creativity comes from and it's where the magical connection to all the creative power behind your creativity is. Slowly breathe it in.

This is where your creativity comes from. Time seems to stop and you see everything from the stillness within. Peace and joy and acceptance of all that you are surrounds you as you realize you are not your problems. They cannot and never will own you.

You can create a better life. You ask, "Is it easy? Will change come overnight?" I wish I could tell you that it will, but nothing worthwhile in life ever comes easy. But I can safely say, by going to the silence to find your center, you will learn how to love and accept yourself for who you are. You will learn how self-acceptance can positively affect your inner peace and with forgiveness, the healing will come.

Only you have the power to create a better life -- for yourself and for others.

Namaste.

Lesson in the Silence

I was awake early this morning -- 3:00 a.m.  I don't know why I did that, just that I did.   Since I couldn't fall back asleep, I lay there all toasty warm and welcomed the silence that only the earliest, or very latest, hours can bring. 

I  love the silence.   In it, there's a connection, a connectedness that happens, but only if you allow it.  It brings a sense of peace and oneness, and you feel a unity with everyone and everything.  You can also feel the love and the energy flowing in and out -- all through you.  The magic is, as you give yourself over to the silence, there's a ripple effect that occurs, like dropping a stone into a pond and watching the ever-widening circles.

The more you relax and the more you open your heart and turn off your mind, the more you feel the love and the peace and oneness.  It grows, expanding, until you're filled with it, surrounded by it, and you -- I don't know, it's like you become the love and the peace and the energy.   It's awesome, and the feeling stays with you the whole day long.

Now, hours later, I can still sense the vast power and scope of the interconnectedness.  It may seem idealistic, maybe even ungrounded to some, but I think the ultimate truth is, we all are the world and we are everything and everyone in it.  There really is no distinction.   With love and oneness, the buck stops here …

Namaste

CJ     

Nobility of the Feminine

It's natural for the female to give, to surrender, and to feel. By their very nature they are closer in essence to the universe.

This is something they can sense biologically, spiritually and psychologically. It's for this reason that they live longer then men do. Men seek to control, dominate and compete — it is for this reason, they are further from the nature of the universe. Something in man fears, and fears deeply. Man feels he must prove himself, but a woman just tries to be herself.

The receptivity in a woman allows her to trust herself; this is what gives her, her power.  Men seek refuge and rest in women, a place to hide from life’s brutality — a brutality they they have created. Her knowing is her mystery, and that is why men are baffled and amazed. She can do more in less time than many men can achieve, simply because she is more adapted to working together with others. She nurtures and brings people together. She understands harmony and cooperation. From the heart, she commands the excellence of her being.

By her very presence, a man is subtly drawn in and he feels the pull of her gravity upon him. She can silently massage his heart and help him awaken to himself. She can make a man feel like a king  -- and she can take away his crown in a moment, such is the power of the feminine. You may want to argue with her, but be prepared to be defeated, because in her knowing, she has already held your heart in her hands. She knows where she is going and you don’t.

Not all women possess this grace of their being, but many do, and this is what gives sense to civilization and it's why women are the mothers of cooperation. They know that to survive, you must meet others halfway. You must be willing to see deeper than your side of things, and know that life is not a race, but a flowering, if it is lived within the heart and allowed to blossom naturally. 

You can try to beat her down but in the end, she will win, because she knows she has a heart and she knows how life is best lived.

Robert Cosmar

Magic Man's Universe - Home

Magic Man's Universe - Home

How to Look Within

Most people are perplexed when you say to them you must look within. The mind says how can you do that? It seems ridiculous to try, but when you realize that inner looking is actually feeling it is a different matter all together.

The mind explores thru thought,memory and observation. It analyzes what it hear’s, see’s and thinks. It takes concepts and arranges them according to its understanding. The feelings are centered in the heart region and have deep connections leading to the very source of life itself, the soul of existence.

Feeling is an internal directed process and not external like thought. Feelings require no observation other then to be aware of them or to turn your attention to them. No work or analysis is needed, you just feel. The hard part is in trusting those feelings and learning how they reveal so much of the mystery of life and ourselves.

Feelings help us to understand the mystery of life and ourselves by revealing to us our unity with life itself. Unlike the mind, the feelings reveal what is already there and how we are apart of it. Understanding is not required, you don’t have to come to any conclusions, you simply know.

Silence is a byproduct of deep feeling. As the mind stops its chatter you become aware of a vacuum or void in which only a solitary you exists. At first this void has elements of the unconscious you in it, but as you go deeper and encounter the blocks to full realization you come to understand the meaning and importance of silence. 

Silence reveals what words cannot express. It is a place where concepts are replaced by reality and the end of seeking is because you have found the essence of life and your place within it.

Silence requires no time or space to define it because in the inner world of reality it is the companion of reality. It dissolves the illusions created in time and space and brings us to a point of realization where we see thru feeling, the nature of ourselves and true reality. We are home again and we know it, we remember and recognize it all…the search is over for now!

2012 and Astrology

by Robert Cosmar

There is a lot of writing and speculation going around concerning the year 2012. You don’t have to look that hard — it’s all over the Internet. Some of it is insightful and worthy of print, but way too much of it is merely sensationalism and appeals to the worries and fears of the masses. It is unfortunate that many people see astrology only as a edge in life and not a tool for deep self awareness. People seem to want quick fixes, those fast food solutions to problems in their life, but seldom the truth.

Astrology has become commercial, not on the truth of its claims, but on the belief that with its knowledge you can find fame, happiness and love. Nothing can be further from the truth. Astrology guarantees nothing, promises nothing and it certainly can’t deliver to anyone an absolute solution to the problems of living. It isn’t a toy to be played with or joked about either. Astrology has been cheapened over the years by an attempt to make it acceptable to everyone as a form of entertainment and acceptable quackery. Its honor has been sadly tarnished.

Astrologers, in their desire to compete with science, have tried to prove that astrology is on an equal plane with science. It is not and it never can be. Science deals with mind and matter. It analyzes and reasons and looks to prove. Astrology on the other hand, deals with life and energy, both of which are changeable and at times unpredictable. Scientists want to put the genie back into the bottle and make it serve them. Astrologers are simply fascinated by the genie and want to discover how the genie’s magic works.

Life does not need to be dissected to be understood. In fact, you can’t dissect it. Every secret revealed in life leads to another and yet another, all the way to infinity. When you think or feel that you know the answer, another twist appears. Life can only be truly experienced through awareness and embracing the mystery in its wholeness. 

 Astrology is a tool of the heart and it is awareness in its highest form. Astrology, as it is now, is not bad or evil, only diluted, watered down for minds to easily embrace. It has been weakened and cheapened because people want to use it, not as it is intended, which is to be guided by it into an awareness of reality.

Namaste.

Magic Man's Universe

Epiphany In Silence

This morning after Robert left for work, I sat in the living room with my coffee, looking out my front window.  There was nothing spectacular there, nothing actually drawing my attention, however, I was suddenly, simply aware that I was aware of nothing, and in that silence, I became aware of something significant.

The wind was blowing my wind chimes.  I could hear them tinkling softly.  The long bamboo blind hanging from the ceiling on the porch was also caught in the wind's gentle play.  The fronds of the fern on the glass table swayed in a graceful ballet.  I, too, sensed myself floating and it was real.  I could see it, or more accurately, I could see the effects of it, but even though I felt like I was the wind, I knew I was only a witness of the wind.  In my silence, the wind and my awareness had become one, and everything in the wind floating effortlessly had also become one with me in my awareness.

It suddenly became clear to me.  Everything is connected through awareness.  Everything we see, we are a part of, even though they do not define us.  We can see thoughts and feelings float by, just like the wind, but we are not those either, we are only the witness of them.  We can feel pain, sorrow, anger, doubt and joy, but again, those are not who we are.  Spontaneously and naturally, these things all arise on their own in our awareness.  It is only important that we recognize and validate their passing as part of our further growth in awareness.

Even though I knew all these things, I learned again that no one thing, or feeling, or feature of the universe is separate from the whole.  The only real me, the only true self, is a part of the whole.

Namaste.

Meaning

"Everything happens for a reason and with the universe, everything is perfect and just as it should be."   It is what it is, my friends.

We don't, (we can't), know why things happen the way they do -- there's a far bigger plan and purpose for us -- the important thing to keep in mind is, everything happens when it's supposed to happen.  For each of us, the timing is always perfect.

You may be thinking, "I've had a miserable life (or miserable marriage, or miserable childhood, etc.,).  How am I to believe the universe has my best interests in mind?"

We don't know the universe's plan for us.  We also don't know what our agreement was, or what it was that we wanted to accomplish, or learn, when our soul came into this lifetime.  What I do know is, we will touch, and be touched by, many souls over our lifetime. The meetings may be short, and last only a minute or two, or they may last a lot longer -- an entire childhood, or a lengthy marriage.  Some that we meet, we will have something to learn from.  Some that we meet, the universe has something for them to learn.  Unknowingly, we have the answer and we will be their teacher.

Still with others, the lesson doesn't come right away.  We may look back years later and reflect and, suddenly we realize what it was that we learned.  If the lesson came through anger or hurt, we can also recognize that, embrace it, knowing it doesn't own us, and then we can let it go.  Greater awareness can come from great lessons, even painful ones.  We all have to take responsibility for our life, own it, be aware of it and how that life is used or wasted.

We can't know which role we are to carry out, teacher or student, or when -- only that we will be both.  We may never find out in this lifetime who we helped,  but that, too, is okay.  We can't know why a soul chose to come down here.  Here's a profound thought:  what if that soul came here to learn the one thing we can teach or help them to realize?  We are all one with the universe.  The energy and love we are flows in and out and through us -- the eternity sign.

It is what it is ... everything is exactly as it should be.

Namaste.

Dinahh's Visit

I haven't written much lately, mostly because there hasn't been a whole lot to write about -- and the fact that we've been busy with other things.  I realize that's no excuse for not writing and I apologize.

Robert and I have been flat out for a couple of months now, getting our books in Kindle and Nook and a few other places that take ebooks, and this while we wait for them to be published in print.  Thankfully, that should be within a week or two.

I hadn't heard from Dinahh in awhile and I wondered why ... did I do something to make him go away?  I hoped not, but it really felt weird, after having him visit nearly every day, or night, for months and then suddenly nothing at all.

The last time I had a conversation with Dinahh was when he told me I was to help Robert get his book "out there" because people needed and were ready now to read what he wrote.  Then a day or so later, Dinahh strongly told me I had to do the same with my books -- I had three completely finished and another five or six that I needed to find an illustrator for.  I had been suffering from inertia, I guess ... but anyway, after Dinahh's last visit, Robert and I threw ourselves into high gear ... and high stress.

Last week, my daughter and her husband invited us to spend a few days with them at Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts. Some summers, they rent a cottage for a week about a half mile's walk from the town of Oak Bluffs and the beaches.  Well, we looked at each other ... and it took all of about two minutes to decide -- Just what the doctor ordered.  Our stress level had peaked and we really needed a vacation.

During the 45 minute ferry ride out to the island, we could feel the tension begin to fade.  It was wonderful. We loved being with Carrie and Paul, and my grandsons, Jack and Tyler.  Robert and I walked, shopped, rented a Jeep for sightseeing, and came home refreshed and ready to finish what we'd started with the books.

Yesterday, Robert and I were done.  Amazing.  I had finally approved the proofs on my three books and they're ready to print and Robert's book is also approved and ready to be printed.  We're relieved and so looking forward to the next phase.

Last night when I was just about to fall asleep, Dinahh visited me.  I asked him where he'd been and why he hadn't talked to me for such a long time.  His reply was simple, "Catherine, there was no need.  You have been doing everything I asked of you, everything that you agreed to do before this lifetime.  You and Robert are fulfilling your purpose, to create together.  This is as it should be."

... I guess he was saying, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it."   Still, it was nice visiting with him again.  I missed that.

Namaste.

Waiting

Waiting! Waiting! Waiting!
by Robert S. Cosmar

It is so frustrating to have to wait. We wait for our dreams to manifest; we wait for a direction to take; we wait for an inspiration to write. It doesn't seem fair to have to wait for everything -- and waiting shows us aspects of ourselves that are not always pretty.

We like the feeling of having control over our lives and having what we want, when we want it.  But if we don't learn patience, the impatience can blossom into a demanding and stubborn state of mind.  Good things do happen when we are ready for them and, when it's time, they manifest effortlessly.  No inner struggle is needed -- it just happens -- and we're grateful for it.

However, the mind and ego are never satisfied. Selfishly oriented, they seek to fulfill themselves immediately and give little consideration to others, their needs, or the wisdom of timing. Part of the problem is this idea of time. Our egos and minds are taught to obsess over time and dwell on it, as if our lives were all about time.

Time is how people conduct the business of living, but time is not living.  Surrender to what is is necessary to overcome the threat of time. Acceptance of what is, is also necessary.  Realizing that everything is happening perfectly, as it should be, is the cure for waiting -- and it's the only cure. The mind and time never give answers, only demands. They are never your best friend in life, but necessary tools to live and maneuver through in our daily living.

There is an old saying that goes, "You will understand in time."  This is only true for those who become aware that everything happens for a reason and when it is supposed to. Nothing happens by chance.  Love is eternally patient, because it knows it will get the desire of its heart eventually.  It may take a thousand years and a multitude of lifetimes, but it will achieve its desire.

Time exists to give the illusion that somehow we have a right, or destiny, to control things and make them happen as we want them to. Nothing can be further from the truth.  Unless you are surrendered and aware, the opportunities and gifts hidden in delays or in waiting are never seen and the heart can be in danger of shutting down.

In the end it is never a matter of getting what we want, when we want it, but rather, what have we become and realized. Are we more aware, or are we more bitter, as a result of our limited ability to have things our way?  Only the heart knows.  What does your heart say to you?

Namaste!

Trilogy of Awareness

by Robert S. Cosmar

I'm proud to announce that my book is finally "out there".  Trilogy of Awareness was originally written almost twenty years ago.  I've kept these stories in my computer all these years, because I cherished the feel and the energy when I wrote them back then.  I was in a different world and amazed at how relatively easy the stories came to me. I had no idea where the stories were going, only that I had to write them.

I explored getting them published back when I wrote them, but after a disappointing meeting with an editor, I decided that the energy of the writing had to be protected and preserved and his editing would destroy the entire feel of the stories.  I strongly feel that the wording and rhythm of a writer provide a unique signature that the universe uses to touch others.  We’re attracted to certain writers because of how their work feels to us, and unless the writing is technical and caters only to the mind, that unique signature of a writer is very important.

It took falling in love for the first time and then trusting Catherine (CJ Heck) to polish and edit the stories for me, and then her belief in them and me, before I finally decided to put them "out there" for the masses.

The Stories --

Home: Where the heart Is 

This is about a young boy forced to decide between living his life from either his heart or his mind.  It has a futuristic and sci fi feel to it, but it speaks to the challenge we all have of addressing this issue. Do I listen to fear and become a slave to it or do I listen to the whispers from my heart and follow them?  The end of the book contains the Seven Principles of True Power, which describe the path that awareness leads a person on the return to their true home within.

The Ghost of Woodstock.  

A young aspiring rock musician goes to a summer camp near Woodstock NY and encounters the ghost of a rock icon who helps him discover that the true magic of music is within him, if he will trust his heart.

Masters of the Park.

A middle aged man falls from a swing in a park and is knocked unconscious. He is transported into another world where a squirrel acts as a guide and helps him realize the power he has within to decide to change his unhappy life. It is written in much the same way as the classic story, the Christmas Carol, with Mr Scrooge as the main character.

The ebook version is available now at these online bookstores:

Trilogy of Awareness at Lulu

Trilogy of Awareness at Nook (Barnes & Noble)

Trilogy of Awareness at Kindle (Amazon.com)

The printed version will be available soon and I will let everyone know when and where.  You can view a small sample of the book on a couple of the links above. If you're searching for inspiration or courage to give your heart, this is a wonderful book of inner wisdom and insight learned through a lifetime of experiences. It's worth the price and you won't be disappointed.

Namaste

Robert

Busy Times

Hello everyone -- I sincerely apologize for my disappearance.  I've been extremely busy with last minute illustrations and the self-publishing of two new children's books.  I'm happy to say, both books are now with the printer and I'll let you know when I get them.  

To those who ordered months or even a year in advance, it's finally happening!  Yours will be the first books I sign and put in the mail -- thank you most sincerely for your patience.

For those of you with eBook readers, both books are available now on Kindle Books at Amazon.com.

Barking Spiders 2 at Kindle
Me Too! Preschool Poetry at Kindle

Here is the information:

Barking Spiders 2
ISBN 978-0-9839320-0-0
Release Date: August 2011
Barking Spiders Publishing
Ages 6 to 106
88 Pages
Paperback 9"W x 7"H
Perfect Binding

In this long-awaited sequel to her first book, CJ Heck continues her journey to help children experience life through her poetry through humor, insight, and with an understanding that, like adults, children like to make sense of the world they live in. And when it still doesn't make sense? Well ... that's okay, too, because it
doesn't always make sense.

So, sit back, get comfy, and enjoy this book with a child -- it's time to get back in touch with your inner child again.

Me Too!  Preschool Poetry
ISBN 978-0-9839320-1-7
Release Date: August 2011
Barking Spiders Publishing
Preschool
42 pages
Paperback 9"W x 7"H
Perfect Binding

Preschool: That period of childhood when everything is black or white, a time of Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, and the grey area hasn't yet begun. It's that last true age of innocence when mom and dad are the good guys, pretending is a profession, and bugs are truly our best friends. Wouldn't it be fun to have a grownup friend who understands, someone to say it's okay if the world doesn't always make sense?

CJ Heck is that grownup friend. She has been entertaining children and grownups with her poetry since 1999 through first, her website, and then with the release of her first book "Barking Spiders (and Other Such Stuff)" in 2000.

Sit back, get comfy, and read "Me Too!" with a child-- it's time to get back in touch with your inner child again and remember, remember, remember ...

**********************
Okay, now I'm going to go for now.  My daughter from Connecticut is here for a few days with her two toddlers -- and this grammy is loving every minute ...

Namaste!
CJ

True Power

"The Seven Principles of True Power"
From the soon to be published book, "Home: Where the Heart Is"
by Robert Cosmar

The heart of power is guided by seven principles of true power which define and monitor its expression. Each without the other is useless, but together, they form a chain that balances the expression of power with its source of inception.

 The First Principle:  Humility

Being aware that we need to turn to something greater within from time to time to solve the problems of life. Sometimes, we realize we're afraid and troubled and in need of help beyond our normal conscious awareness. We have the desire to serve the universe with our own unique gifts under the guidance of spiritual forces, knowing that each person in our life reflects the beliefs we hold subconsciously within. They are the mirrors of our soul and we owe them our love and forgiveness.

The Second Principle:  Commitment (To Yourself)

If you don't know and love yourself, you'll never create your own reality. To love yourself is to love the soul you are and to express your life through that soul. You must let go of the crutches in your life and surrender to the depths of your soul. We all have only one lover that is true, immortal and infinite; it's the soul. All other lovers are only reflections of levels of growth to be attained and transcended. I'm not saying you shouldn't have lovers, but put them into true perspective and love your soul. It will love you back.

The Third Principle:  Sacrifice

Sacrifice the rational and intellectual mind for the knowledge of the soul. The soul sees without time. It knows, without space. To sacrifice the mind to the soul is to be in step with the universe. We are all part of the universal mind, but the ego (mind) cannot sense that greatness -- only the heart, alone, can believe. When we place our mind, our rational life, into the hands of the heart, something wonderful happens. We stop struggling and, when we do, we see why we're where we are and can then hear how to get out of the dilemma. Knowledge is power, but not rational knowledge. True power comes from your heart.

The Fourth Principle:  Awareness

Awareness is the heart's ability to work WITH the universe, not against it. You may have a great idea and lots of money, but without awareness of what the universe wants, you will fail miserably. Awareness comes from surrendering to the ultimate guidance of the heart.

The Fifth Principle:  Honest Reflection.

If your life is working, then you are in sync with the universe. If your life isn't working, then you aren't in sync with the universe. Many live less than satisfying lives because they lie to themselves about their career, marital status, and lifestyle. Fear guides them and a general distrust of themselves causes suffering because they don't take total responsibility for their lives. When you fear to know yourself, you create illusions to live by which all pass with time.

True power is knowing who you are and being who you are without judgement. It's a connection to your heart and soul which allows the higher purpose of your life to manifest in your life, causing healing. Healing is the right use of power. When you can live and forgive, then you will heal and your power will be restored in totality. Until you love your life and open your heart to forgive all that has offended you, you won't know the peace, power and the marvelous miracle of love that you are.

The Sixth Principle:  Gratitude

Each thing that happens in your life is a reflection of the beliefs you carry within. Each crisis shows where you're using your power against yourself. Gratitude is the cure for self pity and a healing balm for depression. Gratitude opens the heart.

The Seventh and Final Principle:  Self Love

You are the creator of your life and your future. It's up to you to love yourself where you are and to love your dreams into existence. You cannot be forced to do that. The Universe merely waits on the fringes of your reality to welcome you home.

Namaste.

Dying

CJ:  Dying is probably one of the most misunderstood aspects about living.  Why is it that some very bad people live long and healthy lives, yet others who are good seem to die young?   Maybe it isn't chance ...

Let's look at it from a soul's perspective.  Our souls are given choices, even before being born.  What do you want to accomplish on your human experience?  A soul may have the one desire to be a hero during its lifetime and, once that one event has occurred, it can go home again -- maybe to decide to return here for yet another lifetime with further choices and experiences.

Another example might be, a soul that wants to accomplish something memorable for mankind -- an inventor, a composer, or maybe someone in the medical field who finds a cure for a terrible disease.  Everything that occurred throughout the soul's life, up until that one particular thing was satisfied, was significant and valued.  Everyone they touched, everyone they loved was also significant, but when that one pure event was accomplished, the soul was free to go home again.

The saddest thing for me to hear is when someone says, "You only live once.  Death is the end."  When you become aware, you realize that death is not the end of life -- death is a new beginning.  Death merely brings the end to one lifetime and allows your soul to return home, where it will decide to stay, or return again for yet another lifetime and human experience.  Death is never the end.

Robert:  The problem of death is not a problem for the soul -- the soul is eternal. The problem of death is a problem only for the ego and the mind.  The ego and mind do not understand death, nor do they really understand life.  Ego and mind are artificial constructs that dwell on the outskirts of reality.  They are imposters, mimickers to what is true, an artificial existence mascarading for what is true, but never true. As long as a person identifies with the mind and ego and remains unaware through feelings of their deep source in life, death will be feared, misunderstood and dreaded.  Only those who know the truth within can stop asking questions about death and finally rest in peace.

CJ:  In my humble opinion, death should be a celebration, a celebration of a life well spent -- no matter how long that life lasted.  When we grieve, it's for our loss because it leaves a huge hole in our lives and our hearts.

Robert:  In order to come to grips with death, we have to realize that the mind and ego have no answer -- they never will.  It is only when we surrender through our heart to the vast universe deep within, that whispers begin to ripple like waves on our consciousness and reveal that we are far more than just a mind, ideas, thoughts and goals.  We are existence, itself, playing in the sandbox called our current reality.

Hannah and Star

Nearly a year ago, August 29, 2010, a very good friend posted a blog on Whispers (Hanah: My Experience) telling us about her experience.  Today, I received an email from Hannah with an update:

CJ, here's a little story if you are interested.

My spritial guide is Star and he hasn't been around for a long time, until now.  I guess he thinks that my life is on track and I don't need him all the time.   I have tried to lie down and open my mind and heart so he can answer some of my questions. I think I have to be patient and he will come to me when he is ready.

Star calls me Hannah, which is not my given name.  One of my questions is, why DOES he call me Hannah? I am getting used to it, but I was wondering if there was a reason behind it. 

When he does decide to visit, his answers are usually in the form of a "mini movie".  That's the easiest way for me to decribe it to you.  And I still don't see the features of his face.  You know how sometimes on tv they blurr the face of someone?  That's how his face looks to me.  When I was seeing my Dad in these "mini movies", I could see his face very clearly -- and his anger was certainly plain to depict.  Star is very patient and very soft spoken, if he even speaks.  Most of the time, he just shows me these mini movies.

This time, he was ready to help me understand why Hannah is the name he feels comfortable calling me.  We walked up to a big white house, climbed up the stairs onto a large front porch.  The door was open to the kitchen.  The kitchen was large, plain, with wide wooden planks on the floor.  Nothing was on the walls at all. The lady of the house was standing at the kitchen sink with several little girls around her, all talking at once.  I could see by their clothes, they were an Amish family.

I looked at Star and asked him what this had to do with me.  He told me the woman, the mother of those little ones, was Hannah, (me in another life).  Well, here's an ironic chuckle ... when we pass through Amish country, I have said many times, I could never be Amish.  Maybe for one day, but then I would want to return to the modern conveniences that I am used to.

A while back, I told CJ about Star deciding to call me Hannah.  She was not surprised.  She even told me how it was probably spelled.  After watching this "mini movie", my woman's intuition just kicked in. I just had this overwhelming feeling, the kind that gives you cold chills and makes the hair on your arm stand up.  CJ already knew why Star decided to call me Hannah.  Neither one mentioned this before.  Now I have to wonder ... since CJ is more aware, open, and sensitive ... could she and her spirit quide already know some of the answers I am searching for?  I know Dinahh tells her to be patient and she will learn all her answers in time.  I will try this.


Sincerely, 
Hannah



** Hannah, it's so nice to have you posting again!  Thank you for sharing.  I'm so happy Star has contacted you again.  Please keep us updated, my friend.


Namaste!
CJ