Hanah: My Experience

Through writing this blog, I've met some wonderful friends -- some have been sharing their own personal experiences with me. I would like to introduce Hanah. She is on her own spiritual journey to awareness. This is how she met her spirit guide, Star:

My Experience
by Hanah

I don't ever remember hearing 'I love you' from Mom or Dad. Never. My Dad was an alcoholic and thought he was God's gift to all of us. He was a very outspoken, gun-totin' racist, who declared he was an atheist. He abused my mother and both of his children, both physically and emotionally. The day he struck my granddaughter was the last day I saw either one of them. They told everyone that I lied about it and I never heard from them again. They have both since passed away, and a few years after they passed, I began having very realistic dreams. I felt awake and knew I was awake -- I could hear things and see them.

When my husband leaves for work it is still dark. One early morning, I heard someone come up our wooden stairs. I woke up, expecting to see my husband home again -- maybe he forgot something -- but no one was there. Things progressed, although very slowly. Each time, I would hear the footsteps on the stairs and then sense the presence of someone walking around to the empty side of my bed. I would awaken again and each time, I was alone. Soon things progressed further and I would hear this being not only come into my room but feel him lie down beside me. Again I awoke and was alone.

As time went on, I had a harder time getting awake. It was almost like someone was holding me down, hugging me so tight I couldn't move. Again and again I struggled to wake myself up. Then I began having trouble sleeping at all. I would wake up in the middle of the night, afraid to go back to sleep. I started to call this being the 'ugly spirit'. I prayed every night for this to stop -- and for awhile it did.

When this being returned, it was deceptive to get it's way. I heard someone come up the steps and then come into my room. But now, it had appeared as my husband. He spoke and I felt it was him. He got into the bed and wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt very content and I felt safe.

When this happened, it marked the first time my spirit guide visited me. He told me his name was Star. He got my attention by saying. "Hanah, Hanah, look! Look at this!" I looked his way and he said, "This is an impostor!" He held out his hands toward the door and I could see into the kitchen. I could see my husband. He was not the one who was beside me.

I struggled and tugged and tried to cry out. He had a good hold on me. I finally got awake, I was out of breath and that was enough. I sat up in bed and yelled at him, "Go toward the light, go to God, or go to hell! Just go and leave me alone."

For a few nights, all was calm. I was sleeping better. Then I had one last dream. He was walking by the foot of my bed. When he got right in front of me, he stopped, glanced at me with no emotion on his face, just a cold stare. It was him, my Dad. He was only there for a few seconds and then he walked back into the darkness. He was gone.

I wonder if this was his way of letting me know he DID care. Was he trying to hug me to let me know? Or, could this be my subconscience, configuring a tale to heal the child in me that cannot deal with the harsh reality, or the conception, that I was not loveable?

Tell your kids you love them.
Hanah

Namaste, Hanah! Thank you for sharing your experience.
A hug to you,
CJ