From an End to a Beginning

"It's not the heart that becomes hardened in a person, but a stubborn mind, and an ego that forces the unconscious to stay buried and denied. Once the unconscious becomes conscious, and the seemingly dark thoughts and feelings are faced, healing is the natural result. It is the repression of painful emotions and experiences that give birth to fear and depression." ~Robert Cosmar


As many of you already know, I have three blogs that I write for and maintain. They keep me extremely busy and, to maintain my sanity, I like to take Saturdays and Sundays off, to spend time with my guy -- although, admittedly, most weeks I've even been squeaking one out on Saturdays.

I have this blog, Knowing Whispers, of course, and then one more for my writing career, called CJ's Writer Thoughts. The third is a new blog, Memoirs From Nam, which came about as a direct result of my growing spiritual awareness and the brand new relationship that has been developing between Robert and myself.

For a relationship to grow in love, it must be nurtured beyond the obvious. We all know there must be equal portions of give and take, consideration, compassion, respect, trust, and affection. What we learn through spiritual awareness, is that having arrived here in human form from the love we were all part of in the universe, we must again open our hearts here on earth to that same wholeness, that love from whence we came.

For a love relationship to grow into all that it can truly become, we learn we have to open our 'self' completely. We have to trust in that love and allow our vulnerabilities to come out, and then share them with each other in a loving environment within acceptance and trust. Only when the past is discussed, no matter how painful, embarrassing, or guilt-ridden, can it then be put behind us and our spiritual healing begin. With those things behind us, our newly vulnerable hearts can then be opened to love, and the true nature of which we once were.

As part of sharing my own vulnerabilities with Robert, I discovered that I still had a lot of buried grief from my first husband's death in Vietnam over forty years ago. After bringing this up and discussing it openly with Robert, I felt the crushing pain again, along with the tears. He held me and told me gently that I could let it go. While I felt a lessening of the pain and a new lightness in my heart, I knew I wasn't finished. I still have things to do which will continue my healing, spiritually.

I spoke about this with Dinahh. It was Dinahh who suggested to me that part of my healing was to help others who also still carried the pain from Vietnam with them. He felt I should invite others to share their memories, to embrace with them the pain of the past so they, too, could put it behind and heal.

I guess the purpose of this blog today is to share my overwhelming frustration. Things are going very slow with Memoirs From Nam. I told Dinahh a little while ago that I'm meeting with so much resistance from Vets. They don't want to face the hurt they've buried. Some even refuse to go to the blog and read what others have written. I can feel their pain as though it were my own and I can understand.

Dinahh has said, "Catherine, I've told you before, you must be patient. You have to have patience. Open your heart and share your feelings. Let your blog be a place for gathering; a place for peace and for sharing; be satisfied to know you are doing what your heart feels is loving. It will be. With us, everything is as it should be. Don't be in such a hurry!"

CJ's Writer Thoughts
Memoirs From Nam

Namaste!