Sunday, April 8, 2012
When it appears your relationship is falling apart, look closely at what you may be hiding and fearing to confess to each other. In our world, many people make choices relative to their own ideas about love and marriage. They believe the ideas they hold close will guarantee a lifelong time of happiness or bliss. Love is not an idea. Thinking you love someone is a sure sign that you do not.
Society has created a template we are encouraged to follow as the ideal way of finding happiness. The reality is, most people cannot live up to that ideal. Things happen or change and suddenly, you are not on the path to happiness any longer. When you retire or the kids move away, there is a gap, a void, that occurs because those things you devoted yourself to are now gone. You find yourself alone to face yourself and your partner. Both of you had goals and now each must deal with a real person who is also wondering, "What's next?"
Here is where the opportunity exists to pick up where you left off when you first felt love. Love is a gift to help you heal and grow by allowing the other partner to be a mirror for your own weaknesses and faults. Instead of learning from each other, people assume they are supposed to follow the plan of society and stop dealing with real issues that enter a relationship. The depth of love is measured by the degree of surrender and the amount of intimacy two people can reach. Because communication may have been lost years before, it takes time to reacquaint each other with who you are inside. This is the gateway to love's potential. Through honest confession, communication, and open sharing, two people can become aware if they have more to share and grow from or if they have outlived their time together. It is not a crime for this to happen. It is merely an indication that the purpose of being together is finished and your life is taking another path.
For a couple to stay together, they have to continually stay open to challenges that arise in their relationship. It is almost a constant state of surrender, vulnerability, and innocence. In their hearts, a knowing exists that the best way for love to continue is by the unity they feel for each other. They realize that an open door of sharing is between them and they have much to say to each other from within a shelter of nonjudgement. Their mutual acceptance provides a platform for healing, a stage upon which even the darkest elements of their personalities can be expressed. This is the kind of love that endures. It richly blesses both persons committed to a growth in awareness and gives them courage not to run away from each other when the path of pain and healing occurs. It is the fear of losing love that causes many to give up and run from the truths between them. Only by encountering this fear with courage can we discover how far love can take us in our healing and understanding one of the great mysteries of life.
Authored by Robert Cosmar
Edited and polished by CJ Heck
Magic Man's Universe
Posted by Robert Cosmar at Sunday, April 08, 2012