From the Heart ...

"Write about what you feel and write it from your heart. It's a start. If you're confused, write about being confused. If you're pissed, then write about that." This was an exercise Robert suggested that I do today, when I told him about my frustrations in writing the Knowing Whispers Blog, especially the recent blogs about my 'visitor' from the universe.

As I sit here at my keyboard, I've searched deep inside the self. I've opened my heart. The mind now asks, "What do I feel? I mean, what is it really that's making me feel so frustrated? Is it that this all makes me feel crazy? Is it a sense of embarrassment at how this might be taken and how it might reflect on me as a person? Is it downright anger at being asked to turn my back on everything that I've always thought to be true and trustingly go down some unknown path to who knows where?"

This Dinahh being who came uninvited (to say the least) from the universe has repeatedly told me I have much to learn. He has begun to try and teach me. He has also said I am to share what I learn with others by writing about it. So far, I've done what he's asked ... but.

I've checked my visitor counter every day. I see very few readers for this blog, and no comments have been left at all. If there are people 'out there' who want or need to hear what the universe has to say, albeit through me, I sure don't see any signs of them. That's just a part of my frustration. Here I am, sticking my neck out and taking all of the risks ... risks that people will think (like I do at times), that I'm somewhere in La-La Land, missing a marble or two from my little drawstring bag, stuck in an X Files rerun, or in one of Steven King's freakin' nightmares, none of which makes me feel very good.

Another part of me asks the obvious question, "If I'm not crazy, and if this is real, then why me?" What could a simple writer like me possibly achieve for the universe by writing what they deem to be vitally important? Aren't there a million more qualified, better educated writers to do what the universe is asking me to do?

Robert simply says, "Why not you?" He seems to think it's because I am, even at my age, still so tuned in to (in touch with) my inner child's innocence and wonder and I have retained an ability to remember through awareness. The universe is pure and innocent, and connected with no beginning and no end, a complete and total circle of love.

Maybe. I don't know ...