Your posts all mean so much to me. The thing about awareness is, when presented in front of me, it seems so self-evident, so obvious. I am baffled at my previous ignorance and any continued ignorance, but the ignorant are simply filled with needs which I don't have. I let them go. I have not even a desire now for "beliefs" or "answers." Such things are red flags. I have not even motivation to think that "awareness" relates to "good." Things are as they must be. If they look good or bad to me, I need not define them. I can't. When much looks to be very bad, I am not moved. And when much looks very grand, I do not rejoice. It is all as I perceive, not as I know.
The loss of my father opened me more. I started out as an Evangical Christian, Mom a church organist, Dad stayed home. But ours was the church with Bishop John Shelby Spong present. Dad lived to see me grow spiritually and he and I would attend Spong lectures together. If I think, "Who loved me in this life?" It is Dad. It was his responsibility, yet he fulfilled it as a destiny, and with much pleasure. I marvel at such love. And what a pianist! Yet I watched his golden years, the incomprehensible loss of Mom, my divorce, illness and constant pain, 5 years in a nursing home, and his amazing pianist hands as they became useless knots of bone at the end of his arms. It was not a reward. Yet even when I could not visit him as I would have wished, he never shamed me, only assured me. See, always he knew me, better than I knew myself.
We can be thankful for what is good and let what is bad pass by as it will. We can collect what is good in our hearts, to cherish on a rainy day.
I'm grateful for your presence on this journey. As I have mentioned to CJ, my partner's relatives own the Country Villa, so I am plotting for a visit out that way, and hope to meet you both.
Best wishes,
John
Thank you, John, for sharing your insights and experiences. It is very touching and human. I shared this with Cathy and we would appreciate your permission to post this on our joint blog, Knowing Whispers as a blog in itself. If there is anything you would like to add, please do so. The energy in your words will touch others and be very healing, I am sure. Please feel free to share your thoughts and heart in the groups here at Facebook as well because you have awareness to share with others there.
Hi Robert.
I would be very honored for you to share what I wrote as a blog -- humbled as well. I'd like to leave it as is. So amazing that with awareness we are "reminded."
You and CJ certainly came in to my life at a perfect time, but there is no other time.
John
Posts
.jpg)
No comments:
Post a Comment
We would love to hear from you.