Love and Loss: Robert Cosmar

Passing the Torch
by Robert Cosmar

Love doesn't discriminate, judge or compare. It accepts all things unconditionally. Some of you may have wondered how the present man in Cathy's life, me, feels about all of this -- the journey she's taking back into her past through her Memoirs From Nam blog, Vietnam, and the loss of Doug, her first real love. I'd like to share how I feel. I hope for those of you who may be stuck in memories of past losses that you'll find hope, and realize, love never dies and it can come in many forms and many times.

When Cathy and I met again and we began to talk about our pasts, I knew her experience with losing Doug was a significant life experience, something her soul knew, as well. The deepest reasons for this I can't say, but I do know that when we have traumatic experiences, it's because our soul is trying to get us to look at unconscious patterns or things that prevent us from reuniting in awareness with different levels of our self. Most of us have our own beliefs about the ultimate nature of existence and reality, but the truth is, we don't really know until awareness is brought to us through a shakeup of those beliefs.

I asked Cathy to take me to Doug's grave. I knew it was the right thing to do. I don't know how I knew, but I did. My words poured honestly and sincerely from my heart as I talked to him there. After saying hello, I thanked Doug, and it felt like we were connected in some way. I sensed a cosmic channel had opened and we were talking in a way that seemed to have been prearranged in eternity past. It was a confirmation for me, that Cathy and I being together and the events around the reunion were all a part of a universal plan. I know she loves Doug and I'm sure, at times, she even wonders, "What if". On that day, I knew Doug still loved her and I also knew I was now to carry that torch, the one of love between Doug and Cathy, after so many years of hollow promises in other relationships.

I am not jealous, because I know I'm in a partnership with existence to help Cathy realize all the love inside her. Doug and I are pieces in the puzzle of her life and both of us are integral parts of the great mystery of existence. Neither of us own her, but we are privileged to receive her trust and love to help us heal. It is never just about two people. Life involves all of us and we can never know who we've touched or who may be touching us, or when.

I made a promise to Doug that day. I vowed to love her in the way he would have intended, with the same caring and feelings he felt for her. It was like a form of telepathic communing where I could feel his energy and sense this was a high intent of his. I realize that I cannot prove any of this to those who read this, it's just something you have to feel and experience in your self. This was definitely not an everyday experience for us.

Love allows you to see the big picture of life and it goes well beyond the customs and beliefs of cultures and religions. What matters in life is what you feel about things. I sense that Doug, Vietnam, and her loss of him is a part of the universe's plan for her growth in awareness. Her love is healing my issues and helping me to blossom more in my awareness.

Doug, wherever he may be now, realizes that the love he offered to her and shared was not in vain and it still continues through an agreement we three had together before this lifetime. Love is never about ownership, but an opportunity to experience greater awareness of both existence and spirit by choosing to be together. Doug payed a price, which I am sure has helped the three of us to become more aware of the nature of true reality and the deepest meaning of love -- a sacrifice for others.

I never knew Doug, because he was several years older than me. I do respect him. I respect what he did and how he touched my life and Cathy's and the three of us agree to do whatever it takes to help others to ascend in love and awareness towards the infinite mystery of life and existence.

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