Karma

Today is Robert's birthday and tomorrow is his father's. At noon today, we're heading to Coshocton for the weekend for a double birthday bar-b-que celebration at his parent's house. Should be a lot of fun and we're both looking forward to it -- Daddy is even driving over from Columbus, and I'm happy I'll get to visit with him, too. Our parents went to CHS together and hung out years ago ... it's amazing to me when I think about how long ago it was that Robert and I knew each other as children.

Robert is fond of saying his strongest memory of me, one he never forgot, was when our mothers took the lot of us to Forrest Hills to go swimming when I was about twelve and he was ten. He says I was sitting with his sister and mine in the middle seat of the station wagon, he was in the back with my brothers and his. He said when I turned around and looked him directly in the eye, he held his breath. He had never seen eyes quite like mine. He makes me blush, even now, when he says, "It was the first time I had been so close to a goddess."

It's surprising, but neither of us even remembers the other one all through high school -- then again, we were two years apart and traveled in different friendship circles. Then, about four years ago, he found my website online and sent me an email, but he said I "blew him off" by not responding at all. This wasn't my usual behavior with emails, but four years ago, was just about the time I was going through my second divorce. Other than that, there was no contact at all between us in all those years, until he organized the 2009 multi-year CHS reunion.

I never enjoyed reunions. The three I did go to during all those years were the result of pressure from my friends -- I definitely did not plan on going to this multi-year one. Then, someone forwarded one of Robert's emails to me about the reunion. It was totally impersonal, full of factual information, but I remember, it spoke to me. It was like a whisper of something and I felt the magic. I wrote an email back and before long, we were talking about everything and anything. With each email, it happened again, that feeling of magic and recognition, like a whisper from somewhere, almost like a promise.

I wish I could say, "The rest is history". That would be so romantic, but I can't say that. The feelings I was having scared the shit out of me. After being widowed and then divorced twice, I had finally accepted that what I had with Doug would never come again. Two years after the last divorce, I had settled nicely into my life and it was finally comfortable. I was happy on my own, making my own decisions. No real highs, but no real lows, either. I had been dating a wonderful man who was convinced that I was "the one". I loved him as a friend, but I knew he wasn't the one. I had already had my once-in-a-lifetime.

What I felt when I even read Robert's words in an email frightened me. They slammed me back into what I had felt with Doug. I never thought I would feel that way again, AND I didn't think I wanted to, so I wrote Robert a short good-bye forever email.

Then late that night, he called me from out under the stars. It was the first time I had heard his voice in nearly fifty years. I felt the whisper again, and I also felt the magic, and from somewhere down in my soul, I knew he was the one. He still had one test to pass, though, we both did. We had to meet in person. Needless to say, I went to the multi-class reunion. We met and hugged and the years melted away. As I snuggled his neck and breathed him in, I knew I was home.

Was it some sort of good karma and we were destined to meet again, so many years after we were those two young kids in a station wagon? I tend to think that day, so long ago, was God and the universe's way of one huge and comical tease.

"Take a GOOD long look, you two. You both have a lot to learn and even more to experience first in this lifetime, both good and bad, but you were put on this physical plane for each other and someday, you'll have a lot to creatively share ... together."